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Caught Our Eye

Posted by Garrett Snedeker on May 31, 2012

Some lively tweets from a (now former) Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) district aide, Dan Brucher:

- "I wonder how many prostitutes use the slogan 'Best bang for your buck' #OhGodImSoLonely" 7/24/2011

- "Ladies, I'm not looking for much. I just want a whore in the kitchen and a cook in bed." 10/20/2011 

- "You know as a kid, you'd make a fat face, and they say it'll stay that way? Such has never been the case with my genitals. #morningwood" 10/27/2011

- "The Semen 'Ole would be a great name for an Australian gay bar in Florida." 1/20/2012 

 - "Tony the Tiger: Sex Crimes Unit. 'She was RRRRRAPED!'" 3/6/2012 

- "This load of laundry is dedicated to the segregated South. #WhitesOnly" 3/6/2012

 - "Judging by the nagging, repeating, never-ending bulls--t I have to listen to after I've slept with it, Technically I'm dating my alarm clock" 3/20/2012 

- "I watch To Catch A Predator simply for strategy." 3/20/2012 

- "I'm so f--kin' proper, I jerk off to internet pourn. #Classy" 4/17/2012 

- "The only regret I have for drawing tiny penises on all the balloons near the supermarket helium tank is I won't be around when IT happens." 4/19/2012 

- A smokin' hot chick invited me to her place tomorrow to look at her computer. Little does she know, #HP just changed to 'Home Pregnancy.' 4/19/2012

Then came his run-in with the HR folks in Congress:

"If I was in HR, I'd tell women I was 'a personnel trainer' really fast to impress them in loud bars." 5/5/2012

"I'm being fired this coming Thursday. This Twitter thing is gonna get weiiiiiird." 5/7/2012

"Being unemployed isn't so bad - I snared a dumpster-cat today. #Vodka" 5/15/2012